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Joke for the Day

I'd tap that!

An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "I've never been better!" he replies. "I've got a 17-year-old girlfriend who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
*
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
*
"So he's in the woods and suddenly a bear appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes the handle. The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in its chest."
*
"That's impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear," the man said.
*
"Exactly," replies the Doc.

There